Connecting with your shadow self

I've wanted to make a dark drum for a long time, but I always put it off because I thought what everyone would think of me if I did that. After all, light is accepted and welcomed by the vast majority, but darkness is preferred not to be looked at or even pushed away. Many people do not want or dare to get involved. And yet everyone has their own shadow self. A side of yourself that you may fear will not be accepted by the outside world, so that you do not even dare to acknowledge that side yourself. But I feel, I even know, that it is so important to do this, to really BE who you are.

'Shadow self' comes to me like a message and I suddenly see what this drum will look like. It tickles me, as if I feel a bit of recognition and I know that it is good. She can now finally come into existence...

The question lurks within me: 'What is that, your shadow itself?'

I realize to myself that it usually consists of the qualities we don't feel so sure about. The parts of ourselves that we find negative or unacceptable. For many of us these are things like sadness, anger, laziness and cruelty. But it could also be your personal strength, your independence or your emotional sensitivity, which you consider uncivilized and unacceptable. Sometimes these kinds of things can trigger or embarrass us, so we like to hide them from public view. But your shadow self is not necessarily bad or shameful. In my opinion, it is not something that needs to be healed or repaired. It is an intrinsic part of yourself and you can treat it well. Your shadow self longs to be heard and is a kind of counterweight to the self you present to others. However, if it is denied or suppressed, it can become a problem. So don't escape your darkness, but learn to deal with it and love it! Yes, this is the message that this drum can bring to the world. And so the affirmation is formed on the inside of the drum shell:

I DON'T ESCAPE MY DARKNESS,
I'M LEARNING TO LOVE MY SHADOW SELF…

Select materials with care.

The next step is to gather materials to build the drum. Wood, skin, handle... everything has its own energy, but what best suits the purpose of this drum?

My eye immediately falls on a shell made of rosewood. Rosewood is a beautiful dark wood that helps to create a strong connection with nature and the earthly. I like using it in a drum because it promotes a calm and peaceful atmosphere when playing. Another reason why I choose this type of wood is because rosewood can form a kind of shield that protects the drum player against unwanted influences and negativity. It is very nice to be able to make contact with your own shadow under protection.

Between the skins I find a black-painted goat, which immediately feels good. Goat symbolizes self-will and contact with your earthly self. Perfect when you are looking for your own shadow. Stop yourself with this, go back to your deepest core, to discover the essence of your BEING and what your shadow can contribute to our planet. The color of this skin is night black, as an association this evokes depth, power and mystery. Also a form of protection, because black can help ward off negative energies and influences. I feel that the color red can also be added, because red is associated with action, love, life energy, courage and passion. All important to make embracing your shadow a true success.

For a handle I choose a piece of a willow branch. Willow represents rebirth, promotes intuition, dreams or visions and also ensures emotional balance.

When I put these materials together like this I get goosebumps, confirmation for me that it is a powerful combination to realize this drum.

Connectedness and self-awareness

While building the drum I naturally wonder what my shadow itself has to say to me now. And almost immediately I hear her voice in my head. She tells me that the shadow is where my pain hides, waiting for the light of my attention. And that my greatest chance of building strength depends on healing my unprocessed emotions. I wince for a moment at the decisiveness in her voice, but immediately realize that I have that same quality and that this is therefore also a part of my shadow itself. I can recognize and embrace this, I can stand up for myself and I don't have to ignore myself. I am doing the dot painting, which for me is a kind of meditation and I look into the eyes that are created on the drum... I feel the intense connection with my shadow itself. I know that there are still many pieces that need to be looked at, but the connection has been made and that recognition already gives me a lot of space. This creates a more complete sense of self-awareness. And I am grateful to experience that this is the medicine that this drum carries.

The image has become a powerful beautiful woman. The scratches, which occurred in her life, are dark and seem to hurt, but do not make her any less beautiful... she gives light, as it were. They are part of her, she is one with her shadow self! When you look at her you know she has a lot of power. Everything you experience makes you stronger. Don't hide it, face it and embrace it. Shadow work is a process of inner alchemy in which you bring those unwanted parts to the surface to purify, heal and integrate them into yourself. Your shadow is not something to be ashamed of or something to hate. It simply points to where you still have work to do and where you can give yourself more love. What you can BE there!

Symbolism